Feb 25, 2022

What is Vanquish (2021)? Is it an action film? Is it a money laundering scheme? Is it a sweetheart deal with some new Uzbekistani streaming service? Whatever is is, it isn’t good.

Retired hero cop Damon (Morgan Freeman) was paralyzed in the line of duty and therefore Freeman does not have to stand up to leave the room...

Feb 11, 2022

Your Stupid Minds returns to its alternating YA theme with a book adaptation that Miramax and Disney had big hopes for, and then was dumped on Disney+ in the middle of the pandemic without so much as a $20 premium to watch it. It's 2020's Artemis Fowl, directed by Sir Kenneth Branagh.

Artemis Fowl II (Ferdia Shaw) is...

Jan 28, 2022

Your Stupid Minds opens 2022 by covering Twitter’s latest punching bag: a Christian film where a group of German Christian youth start a religious movement in an oppressive dystopian society by spray painting Jesus fish on trees and mailing people DVDs. It’s 2025 - The World enslaved by a Virus (2021).

Taken...

Dec 23, 2021

Just in time for Christmas, we review our third Nutcracker movie in five years, 2018’s The Nutcracker and the Four Realms! Eventually filmmakers will run out of ways to ruin this classic public domain story.

Clara’s (Mackenzie Foy) mom is dead. She and her family are sad. Her dead mom gives her a toy egg with a lock...

Dec 3, 2021

1995’s Top Dog asks the big questions. Well, really one question: What would happen if we paired Chuck Norris with a dog to fight Neo-Nazi terrorists in San Diego and released it nine days after the Oklahoma City bombing? The answer is nothing good.

Reno (played by Betty the dog, uncredited) is a hero dog who plays by...